Traditionally, being a cat lady means living in a house that always smells of Fancy Feast tinned food and not owning a single piece of clothing devoid of faux fur. Deeper than that, it’s an insult reserved for unpartnered older women – whatever older means these days – to dismiss them for not fitting the…
Terrestrials are officially uncool. It’s a shame, because we have something pretty interesting going on up here. Tusked megafauna with phallus-like facial appendages roam mystic and ancient forests, whilst ferocious cats with impossibly glorious hair flourish in the untameable plains of Africa. The land has also given birth to humanity, along with culture, music, spirituality,…
A blue light flashes on the automatic cat feeder as a disembodied woman’s voice fills the room. “Hey Lily! Come get your food Lily!” Kibble dispenses into the bowl. “Pspspsps!”
The cat doesn’t move from Mardi’s lap – doesn’t so much as flick an ear at what I can only assume are the familiar sounds…
“The one you are waiting for: will not come.” I read the fortune over and over. I am not superstitious. I am not waiting for anyone. And still, I’m crying on the shinkansen, clutching a ceramic fox in one hand and a scrap of paper in the other.
Kitsune – a fox. Omikuji – a…
Written in 2017 and republished with minor edits in 2024. The charming sentence that titles this piece first came to my attention in the sunny year of ’06, when satirical comedy group The Chaser took to the streets of Texas and convinced far too many people that ABC comedian Julian Morrow was the Prime Minister…
A sweat-slicked, overworked deli woman stands before me, arm extended with the weight of poverty and its favourite mystery meat – Devon. With sunken eyes and a tired smile, I get the sense we are both well acquainted with it. My last five dollars is spent and so am I, grocery bags digging into the…
Tasting blood and covered in the sweat of those surrounding me, I delicately extracted myself from being stuck between the legs of my favourite singer. The crowd was pulling him in as the hands of security tried to pull him out. All I was endeavouring to do was ensure that I placed my hands in…
We wake in a pile of butter-yellow blankets beside a dying fire: me and three dark heads of hair. The world outside is a snowglobe – a beautiful rarity in 逗子 / Zushi / the half-mile beach where the sun was born. In the morning light, there’s a smudge of blue on the inside…
Is that smoke? It took me a moment to orient myself. The questionable mix of cider and Guinness hummed gently throughout my body. I felt a few beats behind the world, still caught up in the warmth of Christmas lights and trad music. Jesus! It looks like it's near our hostel.
I joined my friend…
It’s the most miserable day on earth, six degrees and pouring rain, and I am standing umbrella-less in an hours-long queue to get into Tokyo Disney. I had this ticket booked before I had a plane ticket home. This was the top of my itinerary, the one thing I needed to do before anything else.…
I prepare for Tokyo by quitting vapes. One week until departure, and I’ve not bought a single item on my list. I’m a zombie, moving through life in a cloud of smoke. My share house from the last six months is ejecting me. I have nowhere to live. It’s a repeat of last January, when…
I’m on a trip to Melbourne from France. Living abroad comes with constant learning in almost all you say and think. Visiting home is a return to autopilot. In the supermarket, I don’t read the packaging – I reach for products without thinking. But if the checkout assistant wants to chat, I can’t say, “Je…