Yarns
In the Hours After Ink
“You know this is painful spot, yes?” “Yeah man, all good” I reply, full of false bravado and anticipation. The understated industrial style studio is clean. My artist has just…
I Fucked a Stranger in a Japanese Love Hotel
I was trying to explain to him why the only phrase I knew in French besides, “Oui, oui,” was “Will you please take off your shirt for me darling?” He…
Living the Luxurious Life: Trialling Intravenous Hangover Cures
“Let’s just get super fucked up, hey?” It’s a plan. We drink rum, vodka, gin and Bintang longnecks skulled outside a bar, and multiple free shots of arak given out…
Don’t Be a (Big) Dick
It was any other Saturday night. I was at a gay bar, drinking too many vodka redbulls and losing my mind over Britney song after GaGa song, having a good…
The Australian Working Holiday Visa: A Memoir
The Italian Restaurant / July 10 – July 11 When a restaurant has a banner across their storefront that reads “Best thin crust pizza in South Yarra” – Dave, you bloody…
We Survived the Tokyo Snowstorm
Our roommate, J, told me this was the coldest winter Tokyo had experienced in 48 years. He told this to Gemma, too. Information from Jonny is taken with a grain…
Travelling When Broken: A Memoir
I am sobbing as surreptitiously as I can in a scungy Indonesian bathroom, clutching two strawberry daiquiris bigger than my head. My cleavage is blistering beneath someone else’s Bintang and…
Trust No Fart
The night air was thick and warm as the streets of Vietnam’s Ho Chi Minh City pulsated with energy. I slipped into a local supermarket to grab some last-minute snacks,…
Fishing For Crabs
I squeeze my dad’s hand in excitement. “Look!” I exclaim. There’s a splash in the water where the ocean meets the sand. A crab scurries along. There are little crab…
The Longest Journey Home
The lights have just come up and I’m high as a kite. The last DJ is putting records into boxes and the crowd is dispersing. I look at my friends…
A Shit Storm in Tokyo
“Could you excuse me just a second,” I say calmly. But I think the look on my face has given something away. “Everything okay?” he replies. “Yeah, I think I…
Getting Naked With Japanese Businessmen
A sea of flaccid penises seemed to stare at me as I undressed before the parade of predominantly middle-aged men. It’s not often someone gains my admiration while emerging naked…