I was trying to explain to him why the only phrase I knew in French besides, “Oui, oui,” was “Will you please take off your shirt for me darling?”
He seemed perplexed.
“There was this song that was huge in Australia in 2009 called ‘Parlez-Vous Français’ by this local band, Art Vs. Science. That phrase…
An eager young cop kits up, does his hair, knocks back a not-so-fresh brewed café latte from 7/11 and trots off to Tokyo Station, where a day full of adventure and enforcing law awaits him. By 3pm, however, he’s completed his fifth lap of the Imperial Palace gardens. His only dose of action saw him…
Our roommate, J, told me this was the coldest winter Tokyo had experienced in 48 years. He told this to Gemma, too. Information from Jonny is taken with a grain of rice, but there’s no denying that it has been exceptionally cold. Almost-50-year-storm cold? How would I know?
J had the propensity of cornering us…
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“Could you excuse me just a second,” I say calmly. But I think the look on my face has given something away.
“Everything okay?” he replies.
“Yeah, I think I just have to go do a sneaky vom.”
It’s so not a vom.
“Oh shit, really? You all right?”
Fuck no.
“Yeah, all g. Just…
A sea of flaccid penises seemed to stare at me as I undressed before the parade of predominantly middle-aged men. It’s not often someone gains my admiration while emerging naked in a locker room, but there I was, commending their courage to let it all hang and not give a shit. Perhaps it’s a little…