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“We Won Tumut”: A COVID-Inspired Roadtrip
Every good road trip starts with a morning after pill. The morning after pill is basically the same as time travel and is particularly good bought from a pharmacy in…
Lessons in Ignorance from an Aid Worker in Iraq
They are calling for my flight to begin boarding. The little screen spells out Erbil, Iraq, in all capitals. I no longer get nervous before flying to foreign countries; it’s…
Counting the Minutes
Nothing symbolises Western society – particularly, its notion of time as a commodity for sale – better than the taxi driver’s meter. As a child, I watched them with a…
The Halloween Puja
I’m going to be a boxer. I walk to town and ask my tailor to make me a baby blue bathrobe with a hood. This requires a fair amount of…
Summer Romance
Ten years ago, I lived on an island off the coast of Honduras. It was summer when I was there. It was summer almost all the year. The air was…
I Cradled a Woman’s Bleeding Head While My Amish Friend Called an Ambulance
I washed my hands 10 times, then 10 times more. It felt like the blood wouldn’t come off. WHAT THE FUCK? screamed my mind on repeat. The scene from the last…
Adios, Motherfucker
What’s the most quintessential injury an Aussie can get in Bali? A scooter accident. Okay, what’s the second most? Animal Bite. What’s the third—actually, forget it. Picture this, it’s 3…
The Last Cigarette
Nothing ever changes where I’m from. It’s small-town forgotten suburbia where fuck all happens and everything stays the same. No one knows where they’re going – we just know we…
A Balinese Quest for Magic Mushrooms
When people say drugs are a gateway, their minds often jump straight to visions of calamity and misfortune. More often than not, drugs provide a gateway to the next adventure.…
Rush Hour Sucks Everywhere
In Tokyo, rush hour extends to 8pm. Not because of systemic inefficiency, but simply because lots of people work later than 6 o’clock. And I am one of those unlucky…
My Boyfriend Kissed Someone Else and It Made Me Feel Alive
After a dance-filled, substance-fuelled, sleepless 24 hours in the dusty town of Meredith, he gave the girl he’d spent the evening with a kiss goodnight. At that exact time, I…
How to Travel and Tell No One What Happened
I’m on the streets of Paris. It’s July 14th, Bastille Day. It has been 230 years since the unsettled French populace murdered a bunch of bootlickers and displayed their blood-stained…