I had just stepped off the ferry on Minjerribah – or North Stradbroke Island – when I discovered my home state South Australia had slammed the borders shut to Queensland. Bonnie, a girl I had met 30 seconds prior, broke the news, spiralling any plans I had for the foreseeable future down the drain.
“I’m…
I was sitting in the living room with my parents when the news of the first lockdown came out. The three of us, clutching onto coffee cups like lifelines, stared up at the screen as history unfolded before us. There’s something chilling about your mind being stuck in a loop of paranoid questions, and ours…
I woke up on the 1st of January this year in a double bed spooning two of my friends in their dad’s apartment in a small town just out of Sydney. I’d spent New Year’s Eve doing the coffee table dance competition with my top four Myspace friends after the COVID restriction hammer was dropped…
My capsule hotel had bigger beds and cheaper rates than anything else in the area, but it didn’t have walls around its showers. So as I stood in the steam of the sento – the communal bath shared by guests – realising what the next week would have in store, I started to believe that…
"I need to buy some bin bags to shit in or there'll be an explosion in the night," said my fiancé of one month, roughly three-and-a-half minutes after we’d packed our life's possessions (and dreams) into our little commuter van.
This suddenly brought to my simple mind a question. Do you really know the person…
When I arrived at his dilapidated treehouse, I complimented Michael on the taxidermy snake he had draped on his kitchen window sill. I found comfort in its lifelessness, its alien body, the intricacy of its scales.
Michael, slowly dragging on his cigarette and puffing out dragon-like smoke, crossed one thin leg over the other as…
We smiled and thrashed around in the pool because they told us to. We yelled out "Schoolies!" with our drinks in the air because they told us to. When asked if we were 18 -- without having to produce ID -- most of my friends lied and drunkenly signed contracts forfeiting our rights because they…
This is a tale of how five young boys took on the corporate giants, putting the no-questions-asked refund policy of Wal-Mart to the ultimate test. Could the purchased items survive a three-day festival in the middle of the desert and be returned for a full reimbursement?
There was only one way to find out.
Preparing…
I will never forget the screams of those floating Germans.
There I was, belly up on a scorching tube, drifting down the guts of the Mekong River, when a tiny fish decided to take the toe of a Deutschland-hailing backpacker.
And by take, I mean bite the fuck off.
As I attempted, in vain, to…
“Where’ve you come from and where’re you goin’?” asks Gary as he lashes our steeds, Baxter and Reidy McSqueak, to the roof of the boat.
He seems a little disappointed at the answer -- that we’re only one day into a trip from Newcastle back home to Brisbane.
“Took a Brazilian bloke and his bike…
“Fuck this stupid ass machine.”
My feet sloppily kicked a rusty old Marlboro cigarette dispenser as I muttered under beer-drenched breath. By then, I had been consumed by joyous Latin salsa for hours — a far cry from the longing acoustic Fado that soundtracked Lisbon by day. Between pumping live brass, liquid flowing hips and…
“Prost!” Our steins clunk; beer spills over the side and splashes onto my cheap 50-euro dirndl -- but I’m too sloppy to notice.
It’s Oktoberfest in Munich and I’m about 12 steins and three cheese kranskies deep.
Katie’s already lived up to our bogan reputation by spewing into her apron. At least she caught it,…